


What If I Said

by orphan_account



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Challenge Response, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-08-01
Updated: 2000-08-01
Packaged: 2019-05-15 12:20:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14790423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Toby and CJ's first date





	1. What If I Said

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

The West Wing and it's characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, Warner Brothers, and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended. No money is being made from this.

Rating: G

Summary: Toby and CJ's first date

Author's Note: This story was written for the fanfiction challenge on qdaman's site. It is about Toby and CJ's first date. This story is not connected to the other stories I have written. It is also loosely based on the song "What If I Said" by Anita Cochran and Steve Wariner. I should warn you that the first part of the story is written from CJ's POV and the second part from Toby's POV.

************* indicates the beginning and ending of a flashback.

Why is it someone who is completely removed from a situation can see it so much more clearly than those directly involved." CJ Cregg wondered for what must have been the millionth time in the last few months.

"I know it is really none of my business, so why do I feel so compelled to get involved." She wondered aloud.

"Great now I’ve taken to talking to myself." She thought. This is really driving me crazy."

She got up from her couch, were she had been sitting, and decided to go for a drive.

*************************

It had all started just after the assassination attempt. In the chaotic weeks following the attempt, Toby and his ex-wife Andrea Wyatt had reconciled. Everyone in the West Wing had been happy that they had gotten back together. The general consensus was that the divorce was what had caused Toby to be so, well moody. It was believed that once he and Andrea were back together that would change. And it had, for about a month. Then his moods had become even blacker than they had been before the shooting. No one knew why. Until the state dinner for the Prime Minister of India. Andrea had accompanied Toby to the dinner.

It had been so shocking to see Toby speechless. In fact no one really thought it could be done. Well, he wasn’t exactly speechless, but neither had he been his normal talkative self. Andrea managed to monopolized the conversation. CJ who was seated at the same table as Toby and Andrea, as were the rest of the senior staff, had been shocked. In the two and a half years she had know him, she had never seen Toby so quiet, or so miserable. And she had been around him when he and Andrea were finalizing the divorce. "Why is it so clear to me that she doesn’t love him?" She had thought. "I mean it is clear that she could not possibly love him." She wondered if maybe, she should try to talk to him.

CJ went back in forth for days trying to decide if she should approach Toby about what she had observed at the state dinner. Finally, she decided to bite the bullet and talk to him.

"Hey, can I come in?" CJ asked from the doorway to Toby’s office.

"Yeah, what’d you need?" He said

"I just wanted to talk to you?"

"About what?" He asked quizzically

"I was wondering how you are?"

"How I am?" He said. "Why?"

"Am I not allowed to be concerned about a friend?"

"No."

"I see. So you see an ulterior motive everytime someone tries to be nice to you?"

"Yes, and I have work to do so..."

"Okay."

CJ got up and left Toby’s office. As she was walking back to her own office, she said to herself. "Well, that went really well."

The weeks went on, and Toby seemed to get even worse and worse. Finally, CJ and Toby were working late one night on a statement the President was supposed to give the next day. He had been irritable and combative the entire week, and she was sick of it. Toby said one thing too many to her and CJ blew up at him.

"Just because you and Andrea are miserable, does not mean you have to take it out on everyone who is unfortunate enough to work with you! Do you understand what I’m saying?!" When CJ had finished speaking she had been shouting at him.

"What the hell makes you think Andrea and I are miserable! And what gives you the right to stick your nose in my personal business?!" He shouted in reply.

"Because whatever the hell it is you’re feeling, you are taking it out on me at the moment! And I have to tell you that I don’t like it one damn bit."

"I’m taking something out on you?"

"Yes!"

Toby sat down on the couch, and ran his hand over his eyes. He looked up at CJ, who was standing by his desk. "You really think that I’m taking my problems out on you?"

"Yeah, me, Sam, Josh, Ginger , Bonnie, and pretty much anyone else unfortunate enough to be in your path." CJ said looking him in the eyes as she spoke.

"You’re probably right?"

"Probably?" She said in an astonished voice.

"Okay, you are right."

"Okay, now we’re getting somewhere."

"We are?"

"Yeah."

"And where are we getting to?"

"The truth about what’s going on with you."

"The truth about what’s going on with me?"

"Yeah."

"You’re not going to give up?"

"No." CJ laughed.

Toby sat staring at CJ for a few minutes before speaking. "You were right before."

"About what?"

"Andrea and I are having problems."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Okay, listen if you ever do want to talk about it. I’m here."

"Thanks CJ."

Over the next few weeks Toby’s disposition did improve. CJ didn’t know if that was because the situation between him and Andrea was getting better, or if it was because he was making a conscientious effort to be civil to those he was working with. One night when she was working late, CJ found out the answer.

"Got a minute?" Toby said before coming into CJ’s office.

"Yeah, come in." CJ replied getting up from behind her desk, and sitting beside Toby on the couch.

"Is your offer still open?"

"What offer?"

"If I needed anyone to talk to."

"Yeah, what’s going on?"

"Andrea and I...well we ended it."

"I’m sorry."

"It’s probably for the best. We never should have gotten back together in the first place. You know when things end with someone you seem to remember the good times. I guess that was why things were fine the first month or so. We weren’t getting on each others nerves yet."

"And after that you did?"

"I guess we remembered the reason we divorced in the first place. In the end we were making each other miserable again. So we decided to end it before we grew to hate each other."

"I really am sorry. If there is anything I can do?"

"It actually is good to have someone to talk to. If that doesn’t bother you too much?"

"It’s no bother. My door is open anytime you need to talk. And you know my phone number."

***********************************

CJ smiled to herself as she got out of her car after the drive. Toby had come by to talk to her very often. Everyone else thought that the breakup with Andrea had been hard on him. CJ knew different, it had really been a relief to him after all of the fighting they had done. She often found herself wondering if there wasn’t something growing between her and Toby. She pushed that thought to the back of her mind. She was happily dating Danny. Still she wondered what would have happened if Toby had shown any interest in her before Danny had.

  

  


	2. What If I Said 2

"It really was unbelievable." Toby thought. Not even he had seen it coming. Not what had actually happened at least. Yes he had known there was probably no way their relationship would have lasted, but the way it had ended had really shocked him.

Everyone in the West Wing had been talking for months about how much CJ and Danny had been flirting. It was considered to be inevitable that the relationship would go beyond flirting, and it had. In the months following the attempt they had gotten closer. And finally, they had gotten together. Everyone had been happy for CJ. Even Toby had been at first. Then he saw things start to fall apart.

***********************************

It had started to slowly unravel. Nothing had happened quickly. Of course nothing had happened quickly in the entire relationship. So why would the end have been any different than the beginning?

Toby had started to notice the change shortly after he and Andrea had ended their relationship. It had really been a subtle change, and someone else probably would not have noticed it. Toby had always been an observer, he noticed things others did not. But he seldomly said anything about his observations. When he watched Danny and CJ together he saw something the others did not. Danny was not good enough for CJ.

Why did Danny always try to tell CJ how to do her job? Yes he was a senior White House correspondent, but that did not give him the right to tell the White House Press Secretary how to do her job. Why didn’t Danny realize CJ did not need his advice or his pointers?

"Toby."

He looked up and saw CJ standing in his door. "What do you need?"

"Do you have a minute?"

"Yeah. Come in."

CJ sat down on the couch. Toby closed the door to his office, and sat down beside her. "How are you doing?" CJ asked.

"I’m fine. And you?"

"Fine." CJ said softly.

"Really, you don't sound like you are."

"I don’t."

‘No, so what is going on?"

"Danny is getting on my nerves a little bit. Actually you could say that I’m hiding from him right now."

"You are?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"I’m the White House Press Secretary, right?"

"Yeah you are."

"So I should know how to do the job?"

"You know how to do the job."

"Thank you. So why does Danny think he should tell me how to do my job? I don’t tell him how to do his job. If I did, Mandy’s memo never would have been printed."

"Just because he is a senior White House correspondent, does not mean he knows how to be Press Secretary. Don’t listen to him. You do great without his advice. In fact I would say you don’t need his advice."

"Thanks, I think I needed to hear that."

"You’re welcome."

One night around midnight as he was leaving, Toby passed by CJ’s office and saw that there was a light on.

"Are you burning the midnight oil?" He joked coming into the office. She was sitting looking out of the window.

"One could say so." She replied quietly. She did not turn to face him.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

"Because you don’t sound okay."

"I don’t?"

"No, you don’t."

"Really, well I guess that there is a reason for that." She said bitterly.

"Which would be?"

"What? Oh, the reason, my wonderful boyfriend Daniel Concannon." She said sarcastically.

"What happened?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yeah."

"I’m just sayin’ that your respect for me is going to go out the window once I tell you."

"No, it won’t."

"Betcha it will."

"CJ."

"Okay, where do I start." CJ said turning her chair until she was facing Toby. He could now tell that she had been crying.

"Here." Toby said handing her a tissue.

"Thanks, you know I really hate that I’m crying over this."

"It’s a natural reaction to cry when someone hurts you."

"Yeah, okay where do I begin this story? You know the paperwork on the Pacific Summit?"

"Yeah."

"Danny found mine."

"What?"

"It was on my desk. He was in my office, which as you know is nothing unusual. I was called out of here for some reason, and he waited for me to come back. He found it while I was gone."

"What did you do?"

"I confronted him over it. He tried to deny it at first. But when I was able to prove that certain things, that are on my desk. were not in the places they were when I left, he admitted it. Said it would make a really good story, he wouldn’t reveal his source in the article. It would be written up as an anonymous White House source."

"What did you tell him?"

"That I knew he wouldn’t reveal his source, because there would be no article. He then asked how I was planning to stop it. I told him that if the article was written, then I would revoke his press credentials. I would revoke them so fast that it would make his head spin."

"What is he going to do?"

"That’s just it I don’t know. Needless to say, he and I broke up."

"I’m sorry."

"For what?"

"That it didn’t work out."

"I really don’t want to tell Leo about any of this."

"Maybe I could talk to Danny?"

"No, I’m the Press Secretary. I’ll handle the press."

"You know the same offer you made me awhile back is still open."

"If I need anyone to talk to, I can come to you."

"Yeah."

"Thanks."

"Just returning the favor."

A few days later, the staff left for the Pacific Summit. When they were midway over the Pacific, on their way to Japan, Toby turned to CJ.

"I guess we are the only ones awake."

"Yeah, it looks that way."

"It doesn’t look like there will be an article."

"Not until after the announcement is made tomorrow."

"Looks like you won."

"Yeah, he took me seriously."

*:*********************************

"CJ definitely did take me up on the offer." Toby thought.

In the weeks since she and Danny had broken up, Toby and CJ had spent a lot of time together. They had begun to confide in one another, even more than they had been. After he had left the West Wing that night, he had been thinking over everything that had happened.

"I wonder what would happen if I told her...I’m falling in love with her?" He wondered out loud.

  


	3. What If I Said 3

"Okay." CJ said to herself as she paced back and forth in her office. "I can do this. I’m not a really shy person. I can do this."

She sat down on the couch. "All I have to do is go to his office. It’s right down the hall. It’s not like it’s in the Himalayas, and I’ve been in his office many times before. Once I’m in his office, all I have to do is ask. It’s just one simple sentence that’s all, one sentence. Would you like to go out on a date? That’s all I have to do. It’s not that hard. Okay, why can’t I motivate myself to get off this couch and go ask him?" CJ said to herself.

At the same time Toby was sitting in his office staring out the window. "It should be easy. This shouldn’t be a hard thing to do. I’m a speech writer for crying out loud. How hard should it be for me to ask someone out on a date? All I have to do is ask her. She might even say yes." He thought.

"Okay, I’m going to his office and I’m going to ask him. If he says no then I’ll quickly come back here and try to pick up the remains of my dignity." CJ said getting up and leaving her office.

"There’s only one way for me to find out." Toby thought as he left his office.

CJ was walking briskly through the deserted hallways of the West Wing to Toby’s office, not really looking where she was going, when she ran into someone.

"Oh, I’m sorry." She looked and saw who she had ran into. "Toby!"

"Don’t worry about it. This is very coincidental." Toby said.

"You’re telling me. I was just on my way to your office to talk to you."

"You were! I was just going to your office to talk to you."

"Since my office is closer we could go to it." CJ said.

"Yes, but Sam is gone and Josh isn’t."

"We’ll go to your office."

They went into Toby’s office and sat down on the couch. "Since we came to my office," Toby said, "I’ll let you speak first."

"Okay," CJ said swallowing before going on, "I was wondering if...well if you...would like to go out with me?" She looked up and saw that Toby was smiling.

"I was coming to your office to ask you the same thing. And the answer to your question is yes." Toby said.

"Really? You were?" CJ asked happily

"Yes."

CJ sat and stared at Toby, waiting for him to ask her, for a minute before saying. "Well...I’m waiting!"

"What?!" Toby said confused.

"Ask!" CJ cried.

"CJ, would you like to go out with me?" Toby asked.

"Yes, I would Toby." CJ replied

"Okay,"Toby breathed a sigh of relief, "now that we have that settled. When? Where?"

"Friday would probably be good." CJ suggested.

"Friday, okay."

"You can chose where we go, and surprise me."

"Surprise you?" Toby asked.

"Yes."

"I’m not very good at surprises." Toby said

"This one shouldn’t be too hard. All you have to do is chose a restaurant and not tell me where it is until we get there. It won’t be hard, I promise." CJ laughed

"Are you getting ready to leave?"

"Yeah, I was going to leave as soon as I finished this."

"Why don’t you go back to your office and get your things. I’ll walk you out."

"Okay."

Toby came to CJ’s office a few minutes later. They walked to their cars in silence.

"I’m looking forward to Friday." CJ said once they reached her car.

"So am I. Good night CJ."

"Good night."

Toby leaned towards her a little. Seeing what he was doing CJ moved her head slightly. Instead of kissing her cheek, as he had intended. Toby found himself kissing her softly on the lips.

"I’m sorry I hadn’t intended that." Toby said.

"No, but I did." CJ said and then returned the kiss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toby and CJ had decided to go directly from work to the restaurant on Friday. Accordingly, CJ dressed for the date that morning before leaving for work. She had finally decided on a green sleeveless dress that had a matching long jacket.

"Are you ready to go?" Toby asked standing just inside CJ’s office.

"Yeah, I’m ready." CJ replied getting up from her desk and putting her jacket on.

"So where are we going?" CJ asked Toby as they were walking to his car.

"I believe that you stipulated this was to be a surprise. You’ll know when we get there." Toby laughed.

"I see."

A few minutes later they pulled up to Toby’s apartment complex.

"Your apartment?" CJ said incredulously.

"Yes, do you remember making a remark about me watching cooking shows awhile back?" Toby said as he opened her car door.

"Yeah, I do. What does that have to do with this?" CJ asked as she got out of the car.

"It sounded as if you doubted I can cook."

"Yes, I do doubt that."

"Then you are getting ready to find out that I can." Toby said as he opened the door to his apartment.

"Okay, you better be able to cook well." CJ laughed.

"Have a seat." Toby told CJ as they came into his living room. "Your dinner will be ready in about half an hour."

CJ walked around the room as she waited. Toby’s apartment was not as cluttered as his office was. There was nothing out of place. A photo that was on the shelf caught her eye. She picked it up and looked at it. It was of her and Toby sitting at a table talking during the Inaugural Ball.

"I always liked that dress." Toby said as he came back into the room.

"Thank you. It’s funny most of that day is a blur for me."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I remember the cold, the parade a little bit, and the balls some. I do remember when we all went back to the West Wing and all of you decided I should do the Jackal. Is dinner ready?"

"Yes, it is." Toby said leaning over to kiss her.

"You’re learning. " CJ said soflty

"What are you talking about?"

"I didn’t have to move my head this time." CJ said and kissed him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I had a good time." CJ said as they were standing outside her car hours later. "I also stand corrected you can actually cook."

"So did I. We should do this again?"

"Yeah, but I’ll cook or we’ll go to a restaurant."

"You’ll cook?"

"Yes, I’ll cook." CJ replied.

"I don’t know if that is a good idea, I mean can you cook?" Toby asked.

"Wouldn’t you like to know?" CJ teased.

"Yes, I would. Of course, that would mean I could spend more time with you."

"We could try Tuesday?"

"Tuesday it is. At your apartment?"

"Yes, at my apartment. I’m going to prove to you I can cook." CJ laughed

"You’re going to try to prove to me you can cook." Toby said.

"Oh, I’ll prove it to you."

"You will?" Toby said as he put his arms around her.

"Yes, I will."

"We’ll see." Toby said.

"Good night, Toby." CJ said and kissed him.

"Good night CJ." He said as he kissed her back.

The end.


End file.
